blogging a to z april challenge – n

n – numinous

I didn’t know the word before one of my first classes: Spirituality and Counseling.

numinous – adjective
nu·mi·nous | \ ˈnü-mə-nəs
Definition of numinous
2 : filled with a sense of the presence of divinity : HOLY
3 : appealing to the higher emotions or to the aesthetic sense : SPIRITUAL

Isn’t it a great word?

Much of my life has an element of the numinous now. After all, my son is “on the other side of the veil.” My Spirituality and Counseling class and entire grad school experience were no exceptions.

We got to share a 5-minute story in class on something numinous we experienced in our lives. I told about a time Kade “threw me” a couple signs—two stars in a row. Briefly, when I was feeling really down on the way to a child loss support group I saw a star illuminated in the foothills at precisely the time I needed it. Then, wondering if it was Kade, or god, or a higher power, or what, I was thrown a second one—an actual shooting star across the view of my windshield. Whelp, that cemented it for me—to me it was a sign that Kade was OK. And somehow, with me.

I loved hearing the other stories of my classmates’ numinous experiences. That class was one of my favorite memories at Regis.

I’d like to hear from you. What is a numinous experience you’ve you had?

star and girl image

Capture your grief, day 11: creative heartwork

I have a pendant that I had made to remember Kade. It’s something I didn’t even know existed before he died: cremation jewelry. A teeny portion of his ashes are within the colorful center “stone.” They are mixed with photo-luminescent powder and faintly glow in the dark. Like a star. The artist, Lynn, helped me come up with a design. She, too, lost a son. She was so kind during the process. She was one of the first other mothers who lost a child that I ever talked to after Kade died.

I love that it is unique, so personal, and that it is somewhat heavy. I wanted big. Substantial. If I could have had a brick hung around my neck in those early days I would have done that.

I wear my Kade pendant nearly every day. Maybe I’ll have Lynn design me a ring…


Our pendants designed by Lynn at StarSeed Gems. Mine is a shooting star and Mom’s is fireflies. 12/2012.